Paul Holmes, Ding dong the witch is dead.


We are in the middle of writing Paul Holmes obituary (but its very different to the NZ media’s faerie tale) its such a shame that he died before the cunt could read it;  But then again Jenni McManus will be and we’re pretty sure that the yank Dennis O’Connor will be dancing on the pricks grave:

Dennis Conner, the legendary American sailor who launched Paul Holmes’ TV career by walking out on an interview in 1989, has refused to make peace with the dying broadcaster.

A spokesman for Dennis Conner, Bill Trenkle said Conner was still angry with Holmes and didn’t give “a rat’s arse” about him.

“All he’s ever heard whenever he goes to New Zealand is people apologising for what a jerk Holmes was,” Trenkle said.

Holmes was recently knighted and his investiture ceremony was brought forward because he is expected to soon pass away.

Conner was offered an interview in order to pay tribute to Holmes. Trenkle put the offer to Conner and said he received a reply stating Conner saw no benefit in his making any comment other than he was “surprised” Holmes had been knighted.

“So he’s not going to participate in any kind of interview,” Trenkle said.

Conner, known as “Dirty Dennis” was a four-time winner of the America’s Cup. He walked out during the first Holmes TV show in 1989 when Holmes asked if he would apologise for calling New Zealand yacht designer Bruce Farr “a loser” and “full of shit” after Michael Fay’s failed big boat challenge in 1987.

Holmes was roundly criticised for the show, but it launched a stunningly successful programme.

In an interview with the Sunday Star-Times late last year, Holmes admitted he’d watched the full interview with Conner just 18 months ago. “I got so much flak for that interview. I never really watched it until 18 months ago when I sat here at home in Hawke’s Bay and watched the whole seven-and-a-half minutes. It was the first time I watched it. Even until the very end of the Holmes era, we would only play parts of it very cautiously. It was so inflammatory to people. [But] if you don’t mind my saying so, this is very good work.

“He [Conner] has never, never forgiven it. He’ll tell anyone he’s sitting beside on a plane what an arsehole Holmes is. But it was 20 years ago. I think people have to get over stuff, don’t you? Also, all’s fair in love and war too, eh?”

Others have been more gracious towards the terminally ill Holmes.

New Zealand First leader Winston Peters remembers Holmes doing “a damn hatchet job on me without putting me on the programme” and another time Holmes put a drinking allegation to Peters.

“We might have had a ding-dong on TV, but we had a good social time. It is like rugby, you have got to get off the paddock but you will enjoy the game more if you associate with the enemy.”

Peters said he had an immense amount of time for Holmes even though he “pissed me off frequently” and wrote a foreword to one of his books.

“Unlike many, Paul knew there had to be blood on the floor and he was modest enough to know that sometimes it was his.”

He had spoken to him a couple of times recently.

“I’ve a high respect for him, because he was hugely talented, creative, and hard working and one of our best.”

Maori Party co-leader Tariana Turia said she has forgiven Holmes for offending people with his controversial Waitangi Day column last year.

Holmes referred to Waitangi Day as a “repugnant national holiday” that had produced hatred, rudeness, and violence.

He later told Turia he was sorry for offending so many people, but not sorry for writing the opinion piece.

Turia said she recalled thanking Holmes and responding that sometimes things just have to be said.

“The only people who suffer when you cannot forgive somebody else is yourself. I think that he has had a great career and is really a great person. While I may not have agreed with him at times, I’ve had a great deal of respect for him.”

Turia said Conner’s refusal to let go does not reflect well on him.

“Paul could be extremely challenging but to still hold a grudge after all these years? It says more about Dennis Conner than it says about Paul Holmes.”

The Sunday Star-Times attempted to contact former United Nations secretary-general Kofi Annan, who was called a “cheeky darkie” by Holmes.

A spokesman for Annan, Declan O’Brien, said Annan was travelling but he would ask him about the Holmes slur “and I shall be in touch should the response prove favourable to your request”.

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  • Byron Grubers says:

    Fuck black sheep what happened….LF fighting fit and growing by the day LOL. You are pathetic

  • Black Sheep says:

    Very soon visitors to your HATE site will get the message is no longer available.

    This blog has been archived or suspended for a violation of our Terms of Service.
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  • You should change your blog to give Paul Holmes the honourific of Sir, for that is what he was…Sir Paul Holmes. Your blog is a disgrace, I hope Television NZ and the Holmes family take you to court and sue you for defamation and slander.

  • Hi Dermot. You are Dermot aren’t you. Sorry if not. Seems like I’ve been barred. Never mind – It was fun while it lasted and I feel that I have done my bit for social sanity. And all without having to say cunt.

    • Hi Nigel, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”. We accept your apology and would suggest that you also apologise to Mr Dermot Nottingham for having wrongly assumed his involvement with Lauda Finem. We have made it clear on a number of occasions who owns, runs and contributes to Lauda Finem, on one occasion publishing an email we received from Fairfax Media NZ. Indeed Mr Nottingham would have the quite extraordinary ability to be omnipresent given that he lives in New Zealand and the team @ Lauda Finem are all in Australia.

      Admittedly you’re not the first to have drawn this misguided conclusion, which we would suggest has been as a result of defamatory material posted on As we indicated earlier we have always retained the right to moderate comments and on occasion and for good reason don’t publish them. As you can see by some of the other comments on the blog we encourage people to express themselves in a variety of ways, but draw the line on occasion and two of your comments were such an occasion, but feel free to keep submitting your views

  • You said “Not coming back?” Well I did come back to speak to your shill, Earle, for the reasons given. But I have no interest in engaging with you. Abusive diatribes and enraged incoherence are unlikely to change the world. Your last comment is pure poetry. Its a pity because I agree with some of your campaigns (eg Peter Ellis) and being a supporter of the Skeptics Society I am always keen to know what goes on beneath the surface. Don’t have a problem with my age with my age, though. I’ve smoked dope (never tobacco) about half a dozen times I’d say – never in NZ, so I’ve had plenty of time left over to change the world. But if listening to a small amount of folk music is a sin then I am truly unworthy! I’m breaking down here – I just have to confess – I’ve listened to reggae, country, classical, cajun, Dylan, Rankin Family, opera, zydeco, the Hatikvah, boo hoo I can’t go on!!!!!!!!

  • A suggested theme song for Lauda Finem (with acknowledgement to Sheldon Harnick)

    They’re rioting in Africa. They’re starving in Spain.
    There’s hurricanes in Florida and Texas needs rain.
    The whole world is festering with unhappy souls.
    The French hate the Germans. The Germans hate the Poles.
    Italians hate Yugoslavs. South Africans hate the Dutch

  • Earle – yes, “Even Homer nods” But not in this case. Take a look above and you will see the phrase “laudafinem says” The site is Lauda Finem and the comments are made by laudafinem. “Well succesful” – just my weak attempt to use to use contemporary usage such as “He was well bladdered” – “You are so dumped” etc The schools were Ngaiotonga Valley Maori School and Punaruku Maori District High School. These were Maori schools administered directly by the Department of Education whereas all other state schools were run by regional Education Boards. Such Maori Schools were first set up under the Native Schools Act of 1867. I used the term Native Schools to distinguish them from the modern Kura. True the term Native sounds strange now but back then it was normal nomenclature eg the Maori Affairs Dept was the Native Affairs Dept until 1947. I accept that using it could make me appear racist. But then most of us are more comfortable with our own culture so we could all be deemed to have racist tendencies. But I spent over three years at these schools and am a past member of the Citizen’s Association for Racial Equality and have spent time in other cultures (even Afghanistan and Iran). We sent one of our daughters to Kadimah, not for religious reasons but because she was a bit gifted and was bored at the local primary. So I am aware what racial predudice looks like. BTW I’m not a Maori nut job, I’m a Pakeha nut job. Sorry to go on Earle but it is very tiresome (hoha) the way you shoot your mouth off without doing your homework first. “I feel” gives you away. “I know” is always much more reliable. You use it when you know what you are talking about. ACC – when I was self employed I paid all my dues and never made a claim. The few small claims I made at other times were all settled without a problem. My thanks go to Mr Justice Woodhouse for his good work. Word of caution Earle – I didn’t tell you what Kadimah is. I’ll leave you to look it up. Or should I just leave it to you to let your mouth run off about it being an Indian Restaurant or some other nonsense.

  • Hi Nigel

    Thanks for the reply but you seem to be making a few mistakes yourself. Lauda Finem is two words not one. What does “well successful” mean? And is the word “native” a “no go” except when referring to animal and plant species i.e “thats the school where the natives go”. I feel that you are one of the ACC defrauding idiots that Lauda Finem nailed; probably that Maori nut job Janice Clarke Karaka.

  • Sorry Laudafinem – I don’t have much of a reply – you seem to be rambling a bit and I’m not sure what Australia has to do with it. It’s a great country in places – if you can take the heat. Queensland is too reactionary for me and NSW too brown. Groote Eylandt is bloody hot and Nhulunbuy isolated. But Tasmania is a jewel. So tragic that Dunalley burned. Adelaide has style and the food in Victoria is brilliant. Ballarat and Bendigo are fine towns. So sad to see Marysville wiped out. So there you go – nice things about Australia – end of.

    No, Earle, I’m not a teacher. One of my parents was – well liked and well successful – head of department at a large metropolitan state high school. Also taught at Woodford House and at the other end of the social spectrum – at two different Native Schools in Northland. Local Maori thought she was great. So I don’t altogether share your contempt for teachers. If you have dreams of being part of history you must learn not to make wild generalizations.

    I’m not sure what you mean by my position on Paul Holmes. I don’t really have one apart from indifference. I used to watch him often on TV One because he followed the news, but I didn’t read his columns and I never listen to Bitchback Radio. Jumping to conclusions there Earle.

    Anyway please don’t reply anyone. I won’t be back. This is all too much nonsense. I know this site is called Lauda Finem but it comes across more like Trolls on Laudanum.

    • Now who’s rambling Nigel, not much of a reply or alibi for that matter? A bit like tickling Trout isn’t it Nigel. Only without us here at Lauda Finem getting our hands wet or diving into the cesspit known as ACCForum ;-). As they say: If the mountain will not come to Muhammad……….You gave yourself away at comment two Gurl

  • Nigel; I cannot agree with your position on Lauda Finem or Paul Holmes. Read the site top to bottom and decide whether you want to be part of history because I believe that this site is going to change history.

    I would like to see you write some of these articles without small errors. Easy to read an article and say that errors have been made but that happens in the Herald, and were made regularly by Mr Holmes. Are you a teacher; a man amongst boys, but a boy amongst men. I think so. If not take a step back and look at where New Zealand is at the moment. It is not pretty, and are you a supporter of the status quo when it can be completely different if we face the truth?

    I for one want a different future, which can only come about when we are brutally honest about what is our present; laudafinem delivers in spades.

  • Nah. This is my first “pop” and I’m disgusted already. I’m too sensible and reasonable to be sustained by all this bile. Bile does most harm to those who produce it. If I want to know about stuff I go to reliable sources – like books. Besides I believe in the Cockup Theory of History. Most conspiracy believers are as silly as a hatful of arseholes. BTW “farmers” are an affliction located very near one’s bottom – hard to spell so I used rhyming slang.

    • Go on Nigel come back mate or we’ll miss you.

      As for conspiracy theorists well we don’t believe in publishing theories either Nigel. We do however like things like taped calls, video’s and various other forms of irrefutable evidence.

      If you care to look you’ll find a shit load of that sort of thing on this blog Nigel. Do you, by any chance, have any incriminating AV material lying around the house Nigel…….thought not!

      Like so many apathetic New Zealander’s you’ve been far to busy, beer in hand, laying on the sofa watching the footy, taking time out only to slap your kids around? 😉

      Anti violence forums seek victims’ views

      • We are all entitled to our own opinions, but not to our own facts. I drink rarely and never watch rugby. Watch football very occasionally. Our elder child was very difficult so had a few smacks but the younger one grew up avoiding them completely. None of the above facts is important – what is important is if you have a point to make you musn’t make up facts to support it. Bang goes your credibility. Also one can’t really watch tv whilst “laying” someone on the sofa – you’d hardly be invited to do it again. Laying is the past participle of the transitive verb “to lay” I think the word you were groping for was lying, from the intransitive verb “to lie”. I wish I was apathetic, and I’m sure my family and friends wouldn’t mind either. I do tend to be a bit serious.

      • Hey Nigel its great to see/hear from you again, the last time you commented you’d indicated that you were leaving us for good; having given us the finger). Like all of our guests who like to comment on the posts feel free to do so again at any time but try not to attack other people, especially us 😉 personally.

        New Zealand is full of angry men, woman and of course abused kids who want to vent. In fact Australia is full of angry New Zealander’s who welcome the opportunity to vent their frustration with successive Kiwi politicians and media personalities who have done little more than corruptly line their own pockets and ensure that in doing so they suppress injustice and inequity with spin, rhetoric and by pointing the PC finger at those who dare to have a differing view.

        Were not saying Australia is perfect but over the years we Australians have learnt how to “kick up a stink” and if our government isn’t doing the right thing by the people they simply don’t last. Our last prime minister John Howard learnt that very quickly and our Labor party is on the verge of collapse and extinction. We have institutions that New Zealand desperately needs to adopt: but your government won’t of course do that, unlike our politicians they haven’t yet been coerced:

        Kiwi’s like to think they’re the same, or at least similar to Australians….they’re not, far from it. The political apathy of the average Kiwi has resulted in at least 50’000 disenfranchised citizens (per annum) voting with their feet and heading west; a mass migration which is in its historical context unheard of. Except of coarse for two other well know social and economic basket cases much further to the north; namely Ireland and Greece and even the Greek Australians are trying to return “home” to Australia.

        Now to our typo, shit it happens……but we’ll ensure its fixed if it keeps you happy. We’re 100% certain that if you took the time to trawl through the 700 or so posts on Lauda Finem you’d find thousands of typo’s, misspelled words and errors in grammar, but is that really the point Nigel?

        What you will not find however is a single conspiracy theory……we’ve been around in one form or another for a very long time, named high profile politician’s and civil servant’s as corrupt and never been sued!

        The problem Nigel, at least for them, is that they know we would relish the opportunity of a publicly aired tort here in Australia to show the whole world what New Zealand’s politicians, police and civil servants are really like. Although to some extent that’s already happening:

        PS: Sorry it took so long to post your comment: unfortunately it had gone to spam and we only check that folder twice a day on this particular blog.

    • “pop” a strange turn of phrase: you stupid cunt “Netcoachnz”:

      “Your comment is potentially demeaning of another forum member and is having a subtle “pop” at a forum member in order to possibly intimidate that member. There is no need for this sort of tone within a post. I respect your right to have an opinion about forum members, however, some matters are better delivered via a Personal Message”


      We here at Lauda Finem will eventually nail you all!

      • Your favourite word appears to be CUNT. Do you realise that this word is universally offensive and repugnant.

  • Who are you angry idiots? Chips on your shoulders as big as power poles! I can’t understand all the lionising of Paul Holmes either – it reminds me of all the hoo-ha when someone else died who was overated – Diana. But I mean to say – can’t you get worked up about someone seriously hateful and evil? What is it – Did your folks make you sleep in the chookhouse when you were young? Or are your Farmer Giles giving you grief?

    • Hey Nigel, why don’t you subscribe? That way you’ll have our posts delivered straight to your inbox; you won’t have to be constantly popping back to look for our up coming piece on the dodgy relationship between Sir Paul Holmes, the Police association’s Greg O’Connor, O’Connors serious binge drinking and the psychological problems Sir Paul attributed to Greg O’Connor’s less than healthy mental state, all on tape mate. If there is a “Farmer Giles” who’s only just started giving us a problem his full name appears to be Farmer Nigel Giles ;-).

  • Byron Grubers says:

    Well said Nick. Lauda good work on bagging the large nasty women from ACC forum. Her being banned from Yahoo is serious stuff. Tell me does this 160kg women ever get out of the house or off the couch? Or do they need one of the special ambulance units. This Mr Van Helmond and his brother have been outed for their conduct and are a real nasty crew.It appears they are all bludgers sponging off the taxpayers purse. Go with God Lauda finem.

  • Paul Holmes was a narcissist little freak that looked like a granny and wanted to be remembered as great when in fact he was way below average, and that showed when I feel Nottingham took him and O’Connnor apart. I still remember that interview and how proud of Nottingham I was given what he was their to do. That being to face up to the violence loving cunts like O’Connor and his supporters in TVNZ.
    The fact that the NZ media says he was great only proves how poor those pricks are. I feel no loss at all from a professional aspect but respect that he was important to his family and that their loss is private, so lets get over the little self serving gremlin.

    • Nice comment on how poor the rest of the media are. Holmes was an arse licker for the establishment: the “good deeds” were done where the establishment failed people. These self same establishment dropkicks for whom Holmes wiped arses gave him a “title”. Oh goody!

      Shows how nasty “titles” are. Some people wipe old peoples arses in retirement villages on the minimum wage for years. Where are their titles? If Holmes was a “man of the people” he might have refused his knighthood in sympathy.

    • Dermot Nottingham would have walked out if Sir Paul had interviewed him. Sir Paul Holmes is a legend and worthy of some respect. Your blog is just one sick joke.

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