From left; constable Chris McAnally, Senior Sergeant Dave Greaves and Senior Contable John Clarke

Are New Zealand’s Central Otago police playing hide the cop, or is it a game of hide the evidence?

Tamsin Trainor with son Levi, aged 1, won the right to take a private prosecution for injuring with intent against her alleged 2010 attacker Neihana Rangitonga. Yesterday saw the second round in that battle. The next hearing is scheduled for the 28th February

Tamsin Trainor with son Levi, aged 1, won the right to take a private prosecution for injuring with intent against her alleged 2010 attacker Neihana Rangitonga. Yesterday saw the second round in that battle. The next hearing is scheduled for next month,  the 23th February, 2015

Regular readers will be aware of the various other articles that LF has posted over the past two weeks exposing the goings on inside the New Zealand police force, in particular their seriously dysfunctional Central Otago area command. For those readers who are perhaps new to the story and would like to catch up we’ve provided the links to a little essential reading below;

Suppression breaches ‘often inevitable’ when police attempt to conceal corruption (January 16th, 2015)

Has “Middle Earth” become a dumping ground for New Zealand’s most toxic cops? (January 14th, 2015)

Are Central Otago Police concealing more corrupt officers and their criminal offending? (January 6th, 2015)

New Zealand Police up the stakes on snow job name suppression prosecutions (December 31st, 2014)

At what point do bent New Zealand cops become disgraced ex-cops? A case in point – Senior Constable John Clarke, sex offender (December 16th, 2014)

Amongst the allegations that LF have now received are one or two that would tend to indicate that the New Zealand police have been dealing with problem cops by sending them “South” so to speak, to the remote windswept area of Central Otago, aka Hollywood’s “Middle Earth”.

The second issue that has become obvious with the tip off’s LF has been receiving is that Central Otago police, in particular the Alexandra constabulary, may have engaged, over a number of years, in concealing crimes committed by local paedophiles, allegedly including child rape and incest .

In recent posts (see above) we have often referred to senior sergeant Dave Greaves and his alleged involvement in some pretty serious criminal offending. Another very good indicator of whether or not there is any truth in the allegations against Greaves is the fact that the New Zealand police seem hellbent on concealing the identity of Greaves and two other officers, constable Christopher McAnally and senior constable John Clarke. Of course Clarke is the cop who has just admitted filming a naked young girl showering, using his police issue iPhone.

It seems as if Greaves past may have just caught up with him, his local commanders and the New Zealand police force in general – what with Greaves heading to the United Kingdom and police attempting to cover for him.

You see senior sergeant David Greaves, a while back, circa 2002, when he was a resident plod in the North Island seaside city of Tauranga had been accused of very bad behaviour, one of those complaints being that Greaves had committed an assault on a young female, then arresting her, after which Greaves charged the victim with two counts of assault on a police officer, two assaults that never happened.


From Left: police officers Rickards, Schollum and Shipton, all accused of rape – only Schollum and Shipton were convicted, although Shipton later admitted the offending during an application for parole – This of course begs the question, was Rickard actually guilty, again the police misbehaved during Richards trial, allowing him to wear a police uniform, and hid the convictions of the other two offenders from the jury, one of the many props police also used to ensure that the gun happy Kieth Abbott was also acquitted of killing 19 year old kiwi teen Steven Wallace.

Now of course Tauranga’s senior officers, or the Waikato district command, are no strangers to allegations of police corruption and assault, sexual or otherwise. In fact over the years its been a recurring theme in the area, one which police, at least for the most part, have managed to bury, with the assistance of some of New Zealand’s most notoriously bent cops – the likes of Brad Shipton, Bob Schollum, and lets not forget the master of all disappearing acts, the Head of Rotorua’s CIB, John Dewar

As is still par for the course for New Zealand’s police force, almost 10 years after the Bazley Inquiry, the cops, at the time instead of investigating constable Greaves decided it would be far more strategically useful to charge the complainant, with assaulting Greaves the true assailant no less – exactly the same type of allegation that had just been levelled at constable Dave Greaves by the complainant.

Now as far as the New Zealand police are concerned this type of obfuscated malicious prosecution is common place. In fact it’s exactly the same strategy that Christchurch police and bent cop senior sergeant Ron Greatorex have employed over the years when needing to extricate themselves or a fellow officer from a criminal prosecution, one of the more notable recent examples being in 2007 with the polices’ malicious prosecution of Russell Owen Byfield

In a strange turn of events however Dave Greaves victim, on this occasion, was actually acquitted of the false charges police had laid.

Once acquitted the victim then made another formal complaint against constable Dave Greaves, this time with the Independent Police Conduct Authority (IPCA). That complaint too, having again been investigated by police, as is all to often the case, went absolutely nowhere.

Greaves was then dispatched from the Tauranga area, only to later show up in Central Otago.

Now whats very interesting about this particular allegation against Dave Greaves and his sudden departure from the New Zealand police force is that the Tauranga complaint was made by a much younger Tamsin Trainor.

Ms Trainor has of course, more recently, made news with a private prosecution brought against Neihana Ranitonga, the man that Ms Trainor swears raped her back in 2010. Ranitonga was aqcuitted, arguably, following a seriously flawed trial process. In fact LF believes that the current assault case was due for mention in the Tauranga District Court yesterday and we also believe that it was adjourned until the 23rd February 2015.

Ms Trainor is being assisted in bringing the private prosecution by anti police corruption campaigner Shannon Parker. Ms Parker runs and has been a long time campaigner for a royal commission into New Zealand police corruption.

Fairfax investigative journo Tony Wall penned a piece on the private prosecution back in November last year;

Mum’s fight for justice against her alleged attacker

By Tony Wall

November 23 2014

Screen Shot 2015-01-17 at 6.50.45 am

Neihana Rangitonga in 2010

Tamsin Trainor’s run-in with Neihana Rangitonga in 2010 sent her into a downward spiral. She was allegedly attacked by him in a park after she accepted his offer to take drugs and then changed her mind and tried to leave.

The Crown originally charged him with rape and wounding with intent – he had allegedly punched her in the head and held her throat until she passed out – but later dropped the wounding charge so the jury could focus on the rape. He was acquitted.

Rangitonga went on to abduct an intoxicated woman for sex from a Mt Maunganui Burger King drive-thru and was jailed for four years in June.

The decision to drop the original wounding charge outraged some police. In an internal memo, later leaked, officer in charge Detective Sergeant Darryl Brazier wrote: “I believe it was clearly the wrong decision by the Crown . . . This has resulted in a violent [offender] walking free from the court.”

For Trainor, 29, the outcome was devastating. She drank heavily and had frequent brushes with the law, finally being jailed for six months in 2011 for an assault on her mother.

She said prison was the only place she felt safe.

After her release she got her life back on track, focused on her four children, and began investigating ways of getting justice.

She wrote to the solicitor-general, asking that a new wounding charge be laid against Rangitonga.

Deputy solicitor-general Brendan Horsley wrote back saying although technically possible, “it would be entirely inappropriate to relay a charge that the prosecutor had told Mr Rangitonga would not be proceeded with”.

He said although Rangitonga had admitted in court to losing his temper, slamming Trainor against a tree and “smacking you over”, a fresh prosecution would have little chance of being successful as Rangitonga could use a number of legal avenues to have the charge dismissed.

Horsley said the decision to drop the wounding charge and focus on the rape was appropriate, as the rape was by far the more serious charge and the assault would be taken into account at sentencing in the event of a guilty verdict.

Trainor made contact with Shannon Parker, president of the New Zealand Police Conduct Association, which helps people with complaints against police.

The two began working on a private prosecution.

“She was determined to lay a private prosecution but it became apparent she would struggle with facing her attacker in court – giving evidence is hard enough without running the trial – so I agreed to prosecute the case,” Parker said.

“I’m at a loss to understand why the Crown withdrew the charge in the first place when there was so much evidence. I cannot understand why the police didn’t relay the charge after the offender made an admission in 2012.”

Tauranga Crown prosecutor Greg Hollister-Jones

Tauranga Crown prosecutor Greg Hollister-Jones, has he stuffed up?

Last week came the news the pair had hoped for – Judge Christopher Harding ruling that a charge of injuring with intent be accepted by the court and a summons issued to Rangitonga.

Harding said in his ruling he was satisfied a private prosecution would not be an abuse of process, and that the “informant is likely to be able to produce admissible evidence tending to give substance to the proposed charge”.

Trainor, who had automatic name suppression lifted so she could talk publicly about the case, said she could hardly believe it.

“I just had to go ahead with attempting to privately prosecute him because the people that were supposed to do it wouldn’t.

“I’ve felt extremely saddened by it over the years and those feelings just would not leave me alone. It was never over for me.

“Maybe the worst thing that’s happened to me in my life has led to one of the best things, because this is really empowering.”

Police declined to comment. Tauranga Crown prosecutor Greg Hollister-Jones could not be reached.


Additional reading:

From what LF have managed to establish it seems that police and Crown law incompetence has been nothing short of extraordinary in this case. Although having said that, in light of the prior abuse of Tamsin Trainor’s civil rights, the earlier assault by Constable Dave Greaves, and the subsequent police and IPCA coverup, one should perhaps also look more specifically at other reasons for the rape case against Neihana Rangitonga being stuffed up in the first place.

Detective Sergeant Darryl Brazier (above) wrote: "I believe it was clearly the wrong decision by the Crown . . . This has resulted in a violent [offender] walking free from the court."

Tauranga’s Detective Sergeant Darryl Brazier (above) wrote: “I believe it was clearly the wrong decision by the Crown . . . This has resulted in a violent [offender] walking free from the court.”

There is only so much that one can put down to incompetence. Whilst the Crown solicitor responsible,  has been blamed for the decision it is quite clear that senior police had played a vital role in the assault charge being withdrawn at the last minute. LF suspects that it may well have been a strategical decision for purposes far removed from ensuring that Neihana Rangitonga was convicted.

Tamsin Trainor’s private prosecution aside it is more than obvious that New Zealand police have in the past ensured that at least one violent assailant escaped prosecution for his violence against women. Dave Greaves obviously escaped prosecution with the assistance of police, only to then turn up in the deep south where he continued his corrupt ways, arguably knowing just how far his ‘handlers’ were willing to go in protecting their police underlings.

With each of these latest cases of police corruption there has been a new development, at least in how police spin doctors have managed the political and public fallout. Had the latest strategy been confined to one or two cases it may well have worked, slipped under the radar, so to speak.

Only today police have again employed the exact same strategy, albeit a different case, also with an interesting twist, which of course cannot be challenged without certain documents that police more than likely fabricated;

Cop admits sabotaging family car

January 18th, 2014


Police said last night that O’Donnell “is no longer employed by New Zealand Police”.

He was an officer at the time of the incident, but was serving out his time having resigned beforehand


There is a clear pattern beginning to emerge, one where police have adopted ’employment’ and ‘privacy’ laws as the latest weapon in the police legal arsenal for concealing corruption in the ranks. For anyone who follows police corruption, at least in New Zealand, the strategy almost seems blatant, although for the vast majority of the public it may well have gone unnoticed, as police no doubt had intended.

The Central Otago case’s have been ‘managed’ in much the same way;

‘No option’ but to remand case

Corrupt cop John Clarke

Corrupt cop John Clarke

Friday 12th December 2014

He was a first offender and had since resigned from the police.

The incident happened when he was off duty.


In fact looking back in almost every recent case the accused cop has resigned, almost as if on-cue playing their role in a scripted event. Even the so-called “top cop” Mark Gutry quit only moments ahead of a  inquiry hearing that would undoubtedly have been a huge consternation, an embarrassment to both himself and the police force as a whole;

Top cop Mark Gutry quits ahead of hearing

Corrupt cop Mark Gutry

Corrupt cop Mark Gutry

May 2nd, 2014

A high-ranking police officer who was investigated after an allegation of rape has quit.

Mark Gutry today resigned from his position as detective inspector at Counties Manukau police……

….It followed an employment investigation into allegations he breached the Police code of conduct, Boreham said.

“Given Mr Gutry’s resignation, that investigation is now at an end.”


This strategy probably first proved successful for police back in mid 2010 when corrupt cop Jonathan Moss was outed. In fact the Moss case provides a few interesting insights into how the police first started executing these very convenient resignations, and how they were able to continue their financial support using their secret ’employment matter’ strategy;

Police confirm Moss paid for months after he “resigned”

Corrupt cop Jon Moss

Corrupt cop Jon Moss

July 3rd, 2010

Police have confirmed that former manager Jon Moss was paid nearly half a year’s salary after he “resigned” from the force, halting an internal investigation into his behaviour…..

…..But police human resources general manager Wayne Annan confirmed to the Dominion Post yesterday that, although Mr Moss “resigned” in September, he was paid until March.

The April edition of police newsletter Ten-One lists the names of 15 officers who had resigned. The name of Mr Moss does not appear in that list, but appears in a separate section headed “retirements” and states his retirement date as March 6……


There was also another completely unrelated case where this strategy was employed, albeit with slight variations on the same theme, that of Northland corrupt cop Mike Blowers;

Shamed drug cop had $80k ACC job

Corrupt cop Mike Blowers

Corrupt cop Mike Blowers

December 7th, 2014

David Lomas

The former detective sergeant, who last week was jailed for four years and nine months, appears to have been able to secure the ACC job without telling on his application form that he was facing an employment investigation or that he was being investigated for drug crimes.

Blowers was hired by ACC in March after quitting the police while he was under investigation for what police describe as an “employment” matter.

Police were at the time also conducting a criminal investigation into Blowers’ activities but say he resigned before he was first interviewed in relation to criminal charges. Blowers by that stage was already employed by ACC.


Another case that bears mention is that of corrupt cop senior constable Gordon Stanley Meyer. Meyer and an unnamed police colleague, yet another South Island police officer, also manage to obtain behind the scenes police assistance, again using the old “employment matter” subterfuge;

Sleazy cop’s victims speak out

Corrupt cop Gordon Meyer

Corrupt cop Gordon Meyer

November 23rd, 2013

Joelle Dally

The second officer also spoke to the women but did not get out of the patrol car. The Press understands the second officer was cautioned over the incident, but kept his job.

The police spokesman said the inquiry into the second officer was “a disciplinary issue and not of a criminal nature”.

The details are an employment matter and will not be discussed further.”

Meyer resigned from the police on Monday, marking the end of his suspension on full pay.


We could of course go on and on citing the case’s where this latest strategy has been employed by police to pervert the course of justice – and yes it is a perversion of justice and there are victims.

What is truly sickening however is the fact that this more than obvious police behavior has gone on for more than four years now and not one politician in Wellington appears to have noticed, why would that be? Are they all perhaps stupid? Or is it more a case of turning a blind eye, arguably for fear that police have dirt on them? Of course LF are by no means the first to have made that potential connection. Ex cop Detective sergeant Tom Lewis in fact made more than a connection in his 1998 book cover up’s and Cop outs*, Lewis actually alleging that police had long kept “dirt files” on all politicians with exactly that purpose in mind.

Somewhat strangely the Lewis book soon disappeared from the shelves of New Zealand’s libraries and privately held copies too are indeed a rare find. Also strangely despite the book racking up excellent sales the publisher refused to print a second run. The circumstances behind this were later explained by Tom Lewis himself when interviewed by investigative journalist Ian Wishart in 2007;

Perhaps a clue as to how corrupt the New Zealand Police are can be found in our interview with former Detective Sergeant Tom Lewis.

“Just as an aside to show you how the police work, when I was going around NZ doing the book tour [in 1998], I ended up in Christchurch in a little bar in Merivale, and [Superintendent Paul] Fitzharris who was then the head of the South Island police district asked me to join him at his table. I said no thanks, so then he came over to me and said, ‘Look, I’ll just give you a bit of information. You are not going to have your book reprinted, you will not get any more publicity after this week on your book. It’s virtually sold out now and that’s going to be the end of it. And there will not be a reprint, even though it has sold. You can believe me or not believe me, but that’s what’s going to happen.’

“And that’s exactly what did happen. My book editor at the publishing company resigned in disgust over it. And the funny thing is many of the copies of my book were actually bought by the police department!”

For a book that sold a bestselling 10,000 copies, there are remarkably few copies of Cover-ups & Cop-outs in public circulation. It was never reprinted.

Kiwi investigative journo Ian Wishart

Kiwi investigative journo Ian Wishart

Source: TO SERVE AND PROTECT – The devastating truth about police corruption in New Zealand (Investigate Magazine, June 2007)

New Zealand’s mainstream media too can not escape criticism, as the fourth estate, the only real political watchdog in New Zealand, the media also bears some responsibility for the ongoing police chicanery, the tricky dicky tactics that have been rolled out for decades with no other purpose than to deceive the Kiwi public.

From left; constable Chris McAnally, Senior Sergeant Dave Greaves and Senior Contable John Clarke

From left; constable Chris McAnally, Senior Sergeant Dave Greaves and Senior Contable John Clarke

The latest Central Otago case’s of corrupt “ex-cops” John Clarke, Dave Greaves, Chris McAnally and a fourth police officer who is also under investigation, that so far remain’s unidentified, are no different in their inherent anatomy to any one of the hundreds of other police corruption cases that have been exposed over the past six years alone.

Certainly senior Sergeant Dave Greaves of Alexandra had a history of violence and corruption, as did many more police officers who continue to be covertly funded and protected by the police as a whole long after they departed company.

The New Zealand police need to come to terms with the fact that things have changed. They are no longer able to conceal the criminal behaviour of their police mates using smoke and mirrors, and in that process on occasion inveigling the courts.

The New Zealand Courts too need to wake up. The public have always had the inherent right to information that has for years been buried with the complicit behaviour of Judges and the odd justice of the peace, apparently individuals who for some reason have been favoured by police.

After all the aforementioned “dirt files” that police have allegedly long held on New Zealand’s “most notable” were, again according to Detective sergeant Tom Lewis, not limited to politicians.

Investigate has been told that it is common practice amongst “bent officers” to keep a notebook listing any indiscretions of their colleagues they may become aware of, so that if the need ever arises the colleague can be blackmailed into toeing the line.

Investigate understands those blackmail lists may include the names of judges and other prominent people who have visited prostitutes – it has been suggested compromised judges deliver the verdicts that their blackmailers require.

Source: TO SERVE AND PROTECT – The devastating truth about police corruption in New Zealand (Investigate Magazine, June 2007)

The cover précis to Lewis’s book gives readers a glimpse of the books contents, and offers an insight into the mentality of New Zealand’s police force, the country’s politicians and it’s judicial officers.

Whilst written and published back in the late 1990’s Mr Lewis’s exposé is just as relevant in the here and now. When it comes to police and judicial corruption it would appear that New Zealand is amongst the countries that time long forgot:

Cover ups and Cop outs, (New Zealand Police, the shocking truth)

The Tom Lewis book has mysteriously disappeared from the shelves of New Zealand's libraries and very few privately held copies remain in circulation.

The Tom Lewis book has mysteriously disappeared from the shelves of New Zealand’s libraries and very few privately held copies remain in circulation.

“New Zealand police officers are not used to public scrutiny and, in fact, resent it. To be fair to them, however, neither are politicians, the judiciary, the legal profession or public servants. As New Zealand police have made a ‘art form’ out of writing off complaints over the years, the Police Complaints Authority is a toothless tiger.

Standing up for your rights is never easy, it may risk losing your job or being threatened, it can cause family turmoil. Almost always it results in emotional upset. However anyone who has felt stuck or trapped in a corrupt system knows the sweet rewards of exercising PERSONAL POWER.

Source – Cop outs and Cover ups [Paperback – Author: Tom Lewis, Published: New Zealand, 20 March 1998, Publisher: Hachette New Zealand Ltd, ISBN: 1869586433, EAN: 9781869586430]

It is in fact the Tom Lewis book that again brings us full circle, back to Otago where this particular story begun, and the allegations of police covering for paedophiles. As aforesaid LF has received emails wherein the allegation has been levelled at police. It is of course not the first time.

Back in June/July of 2007 Kiwi investigative journo Ian Wishart penned a piece for his own publication –“Investigate Magazine”. Wishart’s articles referred specifically to allegations of organised paedophile groups that had been operating, at the time in Otago, with the full knowledge of police, involving individuals of high station and allegedly with full police protection .

Team LF are currently investigating the more recent allegations of this alleged police behaviour, which in light of senior constable John Clarke’s admission (having covertly filmed a naked young girl whilst she was showering) should perhaps be treated as quite plausible.

After all UK police had for years also poo pooed very similar allegations, concealing quite similar historic complaints which have only just, 25 years on, seen the light of day with a commission of inquiry that has been, arguably, long overdue;

Child abuse inquiry: Three MPs and three peers named in paedophile dossier handed to Scotland Yard

December ,2014

Three MPs and three members of the House of Lords have been named in a dossier handed to police concerning investigations into the alleged Westminster paedophile ring.

The dossier, which has been compiled by Labour MP John Mann, contains a total list of 22 high-profile figures deemed “worthy of investigation,” following the detailed examination of hundreds of pieces of evidence presented to him by members of the public, The Sunday Times reports.


Often the problem with these case’s, both contemporary and historic, is that the complainants have often been seriously psychologically injured (in these cases it is extremely important to distinguish between a psychological injury and a psychological illness), as a result they have perhaps in some cases lead lives, subsequent to the abuse, wherein they have had brushes with the law, so to speak.

The police and the perpetrators, often men in positions of extraordinary power, with inherent credibility, have then very cleverly been able to readily discredit their victims and thus the otherwise completely credible allegations are often left to fall on deaf ears.

One should also be wary when investigating this type of allegation, mindful of the inherent risks, in that such sensitive investigations can quickly turn into witch-hunts, as was most certainly the case in the early 1990’s with the Peter Ellis matter. Mindful of this risk LF will continue to investigate these latest allegations and would encourage anyone else with personal knowledge of police covering for paedophiles in the Otago area to contact us –

Team LF would also like to hear from anyone else who has had a bad experience with the Otago police, especially anyone who has made formal complaints with police and or the Independent Police Conduct Authority and who believes that their complaint was not dealt with appropriately or perhaps concluded unfairly.

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  • brian says:

    I would like someone to contact me about my story of treatment by alexandra police. Brief story I did do wrong but after I was handcuffed and on My knees I was continually peppersprayed and then tazered by police, Chris mcanally is one of the cops involved that I am being charged for assaulting /hindering in execution of duty. 3 years imprisonment along with the other 6 counts of assault

  • Dave greaves definitely lives in waikouaiti, it’s his wifes hometown and he brought a dairy thwre(whether he still owns dairy I’m unsure) his daughter lives there too with them and his son lives close by in dunedin

  • I just want to confirm that I wasn’t assaulted in the back of a police vehicle, as stated in the article, but was assaulted by GREAVES (sustaining an injury) BEFORE my arrest (o
    and before commiting the “Assaults Policex2…which was withdrawn because it never happened) & I was also assaulted during this unlawful arrest (it was unlawful because I had never assaulted anyone, let alone 2 police officers) I was then assaulted while I was handcuffed by way of having my fingers twisted and my arms forced upwards in a most unnatural manner while I was on my knees. My request to speak with a lawyer upon reaching the station was met with the response “they dont want to talk to you”. Years have passed but I am not capable of forgetting

  • I am the complainant in the 2003 Greaves incident. He didnt so much as assault me in the back of a police vehicle as stated. He assaulted me BEFORE my arrest and DURING my arrest. Once I was handcuffed for an assault on policex2 that I didnt commit I was continually assaulted by way of finger twisting and being held in a position where I was down on my knees and my arms were forced upwards towards my shoulder line in a most unnatural manner. There are also issues with the handling of my property that was spread over the road during my arrest (for a crime I hadnt committed)

  • I wonder if a out-of-NZ reprint can be arranged for the book.

    • Hi Stoat, Strange that you should bring that up, we’ve been wondering the same thing for two years now. In this day and age all it would take is the original manuscript, updated would be nice, and an assignment of the copyright by the author or original publisher, if they still hold a copyright.

  • chris wardill says:

    dave greaves was raised in a small town called omokoroa about 20km from Tauranga city

  • So in regards to Dave Greaves being in the United Kingdom, he actually lives in Waikouaiti, only a short two hour drive from Alexandra. I’m sure if people went there and asked around they would be able to find him.

    • Hi Claire, thats the third address we’ve received so far. Perhaps he was just intending to take a holiday when he booked his flight to the UK. Its not that important as he will surface sooner or later.

  • Lindsay R. Kennard says:

    I must be one of the forunate few who do have a copy of Tom Lewis’ book, Time has revealed a couple of serious errors on Lewis’ part in some investigations. His primary suspect for the Tania Burdet murder being one, but the truth may well have emerged and the correct man faced trial and possibley convicted and an innocent man not lost 20 years of his life.

    Can I expect a visit to attempt to uplift my copy as the police have already let me know “where I live” over my involvement in the investigation of Scott Watson and the subsequent “inquiries” and “bad mouthing” certain police, high court judges and court of appeal “justices”? In the immortal words of Corporal Jones, “they don’t like it up ’em”

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